


Cigarettes and Razor Blades

by twentyoneboyfriends (suicider00m)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Self-Harm, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:55:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7152047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicider00m/pseuds/twentyoneboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slowly killing himself one way wasn’t working, so he tried another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cigarettes and Razor Blades

He wasn’t addicted. 

That was the biggest mistake people made, thinking he was addicted. He’d bought his current pack almost four months ago and he still had six cigarettes left. People seemed to think that he couldn’t control himself, that he was a slave to the substance; people didn’t understand.

Josh didn’t smoke because he liked it, he smoked because he _needed_ it.

He used to cut his skin open and watch himself bleed. The blade of an exacto knife hidden in the back of his phone case, always there when he needed it most. Of course, he couldn’t do that anymore. Not with constantly being shirtless on stage or touring with so many friends, not when he and Tyler were still playing Guns For Hands and telling people to stay alive. So he threw the blade away and let his scars heal and everything was good.

Except it wasn’t because that’s when the panic attacks started up again. So after two weeks, Josh went out and bought some shitty purple lighter and a pack of Marlboro reds, lighting one up as soon as he was out of the store.

**Author's Note:**

> this pseud is where i post all my shitty stuff, my less shitty stuff is on my main


End file.
